A WARM REGARDS FROM PAPUA, AND BEAUTIFUL DREAMS :)

Good day to you, precious visitors! First of all, I'm sorry for lack of post lately. I'm enjoying a vacation in my hometown which is very very far away from the city, but unfortunately I'm pretty much busy and yet the connection doesn't support my dancing thoughts. And while the internet connection is working pretty well today, maybe I just have to write a little here.

So I've been doing meditations and relaxation, working with energies and developing my abilities, since the place is pretty much supporting for this case. I enjoy walking around the town and entering the forest all by myself, entertaining myself with the sights around, or maybe have a little chat with people around. My sense works much better and I'm feeling very well ever since I step my feet on this small town. I'm happy with those good signs :D 

Anyhows, 2 days ago I was having a beautifully strange dream. I was pretty upset with someone and so I've been hiding an anger all day long, feeling like people doesn't accept me for being myself once again, after having a flashbacks of horrible times I had back then. As I fell asleep and travel deep into the unconscious mind, I saw myself laying on a magnificent hill with a friend. I heard a very soft and tender voice speaking to me, as I saw my friend stare and smiled at me while she said "You have me as a friend." Then, I saw my other friends standing behind her, smiling at me either. In the morning when I woke up, I completely forgot about my anger and I feel a very soothing sense of peace deep inside. It was a very wonderful dream that healed me from those terrible thoughts and feelings, and I'm grateful with it :)

And yesterday I was having a really beautiful dream once again. I was in a place where there are children and adults in my kind and we were smiling to each other, feeling the sense of brotherhood and sisterhood between us all. we were sitting around a huge and beautiful blue fire where we saw reflections of the sad and ill ones. And so we dance, holding each other hands and singing with joy around the beautiful blue flame, creating such powerful energies in which were sent to the sad and ill ones. We hoped that they feel much better when receiving this energy even if it cannot completely heal them from the pain. 

Well I guess that all for now. I'm so happy to be able to share this :) Namaste~

PAST LIFE EXPERIENCES; WRITER'S LIFE STORY

It's always fun to read your own past life! It's like you're watching a series of a movie that came out from your subconscious memory. You are the main actor of each series, and at the same time, the audience! One of the series could be really enjoyable to watch, the other one would be like a thriller movie.

It's actually easy to read your own past life. You don't need a psychic to do that for you! If you witness your own past life flashbacks, it would be really exciting! All you need to do is visualize a place where you  feel very peaceful, for a common example, beach. My friend imagined herself sailing trough the calm waves of the sea to the light were she began to remember some pieces of memories from her past life. I did my past life reading by imagined myself walking to an abstract 5-dimensional door and began to see scenarios behind it. Focus on your main purpose on doing this visualization and remember to trust yourself. Don't be confused with abstract thing that you see, it may be a small part of your past life. Let yourself see the big picture of this piece of memory. If you doubt your own 'sight', the pictures of your past life would faded away.

Here's some of my own interesting past life experiences. I was once an advisory of old Egyptian queen. I'm not sure whether it's Cleopatra or Pharaoh, or maybe another queen of Egypt. But I remember her kindness and how close I was to her. I was a guy in here, young and prestigious. I remember the 'castle' in which I lived along with the queen. In every side of the castle, I saw hierograph carves and some old-styled jug. Yesterday I saw a strange equipment I used to have back then. It was a cone with some hierograph writings on it and there's somekind of an eye in the middle of it. I personally believe that this is a simple equipment to stargaze in this era, even if it's not a telescope but it is helpful to find constellations. I used to stargaze (and this hobby is still sticking to my soul today) and do some sacred traditions under the stars. Still not sure what this tradition is, I'm still revealing this life though.

This one is tragic. I was a widow living alone the city somewhere in the middle-east area. One day, I witnessed a guy stealing something from a seller, and beside this guy, I was the only one who stand there. Everything seemed to happened so fast that suddenly, the seller came to his stand and blame me for stealing one of his expensive item. He then, along with some citizens of the city, brought me to the queen for a punishment. Since the item was considered expensive and rare, I was executed for death. They cutoff my neck before I was allowed to speak the truth. As the result of my grudge, in the next past life, I became a psychopath man, living a 'seemed-to-be' normal life in the morning and wander outside with a very sharp knife at night. I mostly kill woman or young man in a very sadistic way, it was really shocking to saw. Even until today, I still feel faint when walking alone at night. Well it's a good thing that I'm afraid of sharp equipment :P

And I finally reach the state in which I could enjoy a peaceful life in one of the Javanese kingdom, back then in year 600. I was one of the princess of this kingdom. I have a brother and 3 sisters, one of them was younger than me. Surprisingly, my brother is now my senior in school in this present life! My royal family had several warriors and one of them is also my senior in high school (since he believed in past life, I told him about this XD). A friend of mine, a girl from the village in my kingdom, is now holding a role of being a biology teacher at my present school. Sometimes, you got a feeling that you knew this person before even if you really haven't met each other. This strange deja vu like phenomena would have a connection with past life.

My royal home was very traditionalistic yet beautiful. There was a big garden in the middle along with water spring and royal or honored people used to gathered around there drinking teas, singing, or joking around. My father and mother, the king and queen, used to sat in their royal chair in the front of the garden, happily enjoying the moment of the gathering time. In the back of the royal home, there was a mini waterfall and pond, a place where me and my sisters used to play or chilling around in the humid afternoon.

And well, this past life is the most clear and detailed from other past lives I've read. It was around year 1600, in a quiet village of Japan. I lived in a small cottage along with an elder brother and there was a large sakura tree and a small river in the front. There were only two of us since our parents had passed away when we were younger but luckily, our neighbors are kind enough to land a help whether we need one.

During teenage-hood, I used to make traditional toys and dolls for sale and especially for the children of my village, and my brother worked as a farmer just life the other men in this village. I remembered that there used to be a little girl with short hair visiting our cottage to play around or to chat with us. She sometimes bring her younger innocent brother and make fun of him ~.~

This is weird but I don't know why, the scenes I saw in this past life reading were mostly hilarious. I once saw my brother carrying a bucket of water from the river, but since it's very slippery he fell down and got wet. I laugh very hard that I pissed him off, so he eventually pulled me and pushed me into the river. and so we had this playful water fight until both of us got very wet while the weather was cold -.-

Yet from the rest of my past lives (in the earth), this one is my favorite. Even if the scenarios here were simple and I was not living a fancy life like I was in the Javanese kingdom or Egyptian era, I was really happy and enjoying life! Maybe it's because I did something that I really love (making handcrafts) and I own a very caring yet annoying brother (which is now playing a role as one of my elder best guy friend -_-").

Oh, and there was also the time where I seemed to live outside the earth, somewhere upon the stars. I remembered the place very clearly, it was unlike the earth. It is very powerful and magical, and life was so peaceful back then. The houses were beautifully made in a half-large-pearl-like and the grass were in silver color. In the middle of the place, there was a large crystal auditorium where I found many people sitting in silence. I could feel their powerful energies floating around a giant blue and immortal fire. People doesn't communicate physically in here, each of them are very emphatic and telepathic.

Well it's such a pleasure to share this in my blog! I've been waiting to write about this :D These are my past life experiences, what's yours?

Namaste!~

SERENITY AND INNER-SELF

Serenity. the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled. Most of the time occurs when one succeed in expressing himself, when he has the desire and will to reflect his soul to the earth. He who founds his true self and the way he could manage himself to play his role in the earth may receive pure consciousness and confidence to walk further, and to be aware of everything he sees, hears, or feels, and awakened by wisdom. He who recognize his pathway and is confident enough to walk on it no matter what people say or no matter what happens knows that he is as precious as others and existed in a big and wonderful purpose. When one is able to do these, he will receive the big gift that is available for everyone; inner-serenity. Freedom. Exciting experience. 

Please be yourself and enjoy every journey you face as you express your true self and reflect it to every single day you're passing on. You are the only one that can decide your role in this big scenario of life in the earth we're creating together, and you are the only one that can doing it right. Do not worry about the factors that will hurt you because of this, because not even a single thing can bring you down without your permission. Allow your own energy to fulfill your visions and missions, as you will feel serenity of expressing your inner-self enlighten your days and leading you to the adventurous life journey.

Namaste!~

ILUSI DAN KESENGSARAAN

Sengsara. Semua orang di dunia ini tentu pernah mengalaminya. Bahkan tokoh-tokoh besar dan sangat spiritual pun pernah menjalankan fase ini. Tentu saja kesengsaraan itu wajar, karena semua orang pasti pernah mengalaminya.

Tapi, dari manakah kesengsaraan itu berasal? Apakah kesengsaraan itu datang dengan sendirinya, bersatu dengan dunia semenjak bumi ini diciptakan untuk ditempati oleh para manusia? Jika memang Sang Pencipta sangat mengasihi makhluk serupaNya, mengapa Ia menciptakan kesengsaraan untuk kita?

Kesengsaraan tidak datang begitu saja. Tuhan menciptakan manusia serupa dengan Dia, sehingga Ia memberikan kita kemampuan untuk menciptakan, berilusi dan menjadikan ilusi itu sesuatu yang nyata di dunia. Dengan kemampuan ini pun manusia berkreasi, sama seperti Tuhannya berkreasi menciptakan segala sesuatu yang baru tiap harinya di semesta alam. Kemudian, dari hasil kreasi itu, muncullah berbagai emosi, pemahaman, dan pemikiran akan sesuatu. Salah satu emosi yang terciptakan adalah rasa egoisme, rasa ingin mendapatkan segalanya seorang diri, kondisi dimana seseorang mengutamakan dirinya dalam segala hal. Tentu saja dari setiap hasil kreasi itu pasti ada dampak positif ataupun negatifnya, tergantung dengan reaksi alam dan manusia di sekitarnya. Reaksi dari manusia lain ini bisa berupa kesengsaraan, yang merupakan perasaan bahwa segala hak ataupun kepunyaannya telah direnggut oleh orang lain, sehingga ia memiliki pandangan bahwa hidup itu tidak adil. Kesengsaraan dan egoisme ini sendiri adalah wujud dari ilusi yang sudah diciptakan oleh manusia. Namun, kita telah lama berpikir bahwa kesengsaraan itu bukanlah ilusi, karena kesengsaraan itu dapat dirasakan. Telah lama kita berpikir bahwa semua emosi yang kita rasakan dalam hidup adalah sesuatu yang mutlak.

Pernahkah anda belajar dari seorang anak jalanan, ataupun dari tawa seorang korban bencana alam? Mereka tahu bahwa mereka bisa memilih untuk tetap merasa sengsara ataupun menyinari hidupnya sendiri dengan sesuatu yang positif. Maka dari itu, mereka memilih pilihan kedua, mereka sadar sepenuhnya bahwa mereka mampu menyingkirkan ilusi kesengsaraan, selama mereka memiliki tekad yang kuat.

Pernahkah kau berpikir bahwa kemampuan berilusi dan menciptakan ini pun dapat digunakan untuk mengusir kesengsaraan, sama seperti yang telah dilakukan oleh bocah jalanan ataupun korban bencana alam tadi? Kita mendapatkan karunia untuk dapat menentukan nasib dan menciptakan suatu ilusi yang positif. Ibaratkan hal ini dengan menonton film horror. Pernahkah anda merasa takut ketika sedang menonton film horror? Apa yang anda tonton itu hanya peranan belaka, ilusi yang diciptakan untuk mengisahkan film itu. Dan rasa takut itu muncul karena kita terhanyutkan oleh film itu, kita merasa sebagai suatu bagian dari film itu; seorang saksi dari apa yang terjadi disana. Namun, pernahkah anda berpikir bahwa anda bisa memilih untuk terus terhanyutkan dalam ketakutan itu atau mengganti film horror tadi dengan film lain? Nah, tentu saja skenario dalam DVD film horror itu tidak akan berubah, tapi anda bisa memilih untuk melihat skenario dalam DVD lain dan menikmatinya. Film horror disini saya ibaratkan sebagai tragedi ataupun kekelaman dunia yang sering kita saksikan saat ini, dan film lain itu saya ibaratkan sebagai sisi positif yang dapat kita temukan di hidup. Sesungguhnya, kita sendirilah yang menentukan indah atau tidaknya hidup. Jika kita memilih untuk terus dihanyutkan oleh kekelaman dunia, maka kita akan terus dilanda ilusi kesengsaraan itu. Jika kita memilih untuk beralih pandangan dan mengagumi sebuah pohon di padang gurun yang kering dan hampa, maka kita tentu akan merasa bahwa hidup adalah anugerah.

Sekian dari pesan yang saya terima pada hari ini. Namaste!~

I WAS...

Annoying. Super rebel. Labile. Confused. Frustrated. Angry. Fearful. Sad. Lonely. If I look back and see how I behave back then, I feel like seeing a stranger. Well it doesn't mean that I hate myself, I was just lost from this life path and had nowhere to go. I was isolated from others. I keep the anger by myself before eventually 'splashing' it to the ones who supposed to be innocent. I have no desire to live, it seemed that I   was a living dead. I wasn't able to be happy. Come to think of it, my past is pretty much sad and maybe I felt that way because I regret my past too much.

photo ©2006 maile lani

Yet I am now glad that I can put the words 'I was', because I have no excuse to be angry for now. I found my life path once again, walking on it with awareness and joy. Even if I'm still annoying or angry sometimes, I am grateful that I am able to heal myself from them :) Perhaps the past was just an experience for me to develop my emphatic sense and to understand the desperate ones, and to be able to give them a helping hand.

The past me is a character that gives me this passion to help people anyway I can. Every time I saw lonely people, I remembered myself back then and so I understand how this person feels.

No matter how horrible I was, there's always a positive lesson I can receive so I don't have to regret. By experiencing loneliness and agony, I become empathic with others. By finding the solution trough it right now, I can help others to stand up as well :) And by doing this I become happier than ever! <3

YOU can be a true motivator either, the one that supports people, the one that raise people up from the pit of loneliness and agony. Just remember that there's nothing to be afraid of because what we fear is only a distraction and illusions. We breath this life together, forever!

Namaste~

KRISTA, THE LOST DIAMOND

I'm going to tell you a story about an old friend of mine that I haven't see or hear in years. Her name, in which beautifully written in heart forever, is Krista. I may have wrote about her before in here, but since I've wrote about her many times I can hardly remember.

I remember those innocent Kindergarten days when kids in the class hardly accept me. I only have few close friends, and the only one that I truly adore is Krista.

Why her? What so special about Krista? Well, I was very impatient and sometimes, sad. I hardly remember my behavior back then, but I remember that some kids were getting away from me. Or maybe I was the one who isolated myself from the society. But anyways, she came, sitting beside me with a sincere smile and pure and joyful laughter. I was really happy to know that she was also my neighbor!

I remember when we were having a coloring session. I truly love this activity and very good at it. Unfortunately, everyone had finished their work, and I was the only one who haven't done it yet. I was panicking because I don't like being the last one who finished this work. Krista was about to gave her work until she noticed that my work would be very messy if I panic for being the last one. So she sat down again and wait for me. "Let's give our work together!" She said.

We would play along together all day long, either in my house or hers. I remember that she would carry all of her toys and let me play with each of them, as long as we play the game together. I remember when we met at the shopping centre and bought the same flute lollipops. They all seemed simple and innocently childish, but me and Krista understand the meaning behind them. We understand that we have each other, we laugh and we breath this life together.

Unfortunately, something sad and unexpected happened in her family and she had to move away. After the farewell, I asked my mom about her every month and ever year, until now. I miss her so much that I still remember her favorite gowns and hairstyle. I regret that we didn't have any photos together and I've lost contact with her. I searched for her names everywhere; either in facebook, twitter, and even google. But there's no sign about her. I can't stop wondering about her and I'm still looking forward to meet her someday. But I wonder if she remembers me...

Here's my drawing as a tribute for Krista. I hope that we'll meet again someday.

THE BIG SECRET FOR THE LONELY ONES

Feeling lonely? lost? abandoned? Stuck? Isolated? Don't worry. I felt this way before either. I felt this way for months because I kinda feel like people just don't accept me for being myself and people don't understand me. They ignored me so I feel like playing with myself everyday.

But now, I'm thrilled, thrilled with passion to live this life, thrilled with gratefulness and joy, thrilled with laughter! It feels amazing! It feels amazing to live! It feels amazing to be myself! It feels amazing to be content! It feels amazing to know the big secret behind all of these :)

I want to share this secret, the secret that all of us should already know. The forgotten secret. A very simple yet powerful secret. Everyone deserves to know this secret. In fact, it shouldn't be a secret at all :)

"YOU ARE ME, I AM YOU, WE ARE ONE, WE ARE ALL A PART OF GOD."

The physical body may separated from one and another, yet a soul owns connection to another. All of us own an immortal soul. Our souls were created from the same exclusive material, a very special material and the most precious one. It is indeed, the light of love! Each of us came here to help each other. Without you, I why should I be here on my own? :)

Namaste! <3

SELF-CLEANSING PART 6 (POSITIVE MIND-SET)

It's pretty simple so I'm not going to give a long explanation about this. Avoid those anxiety and worries. Think positive instead. Our mind is very powerful. Think about this, when you feel afraid that you will not gonna make it in a project, then you WILL fail. When you feel that you have the potential to do the project and finish it, so shall it be done.

If God creates us according to what He is, we have the potential to 'create' because he IS the creator. We have the potential to make a reality from our minds. What I mean is, our faith depends on our mindset. You get the idea.

So I try to think positive about my future and the present itself. I used to think that I'm not gonna fit in very well in this new environment. So yeah, now I tried to change my mind set. And everything turns up fine ever since. I feel like I could get along with others pretty well, and it's not as hard as I think it will be.

That's all for now. Namaste!~ :)

SELF-CLEANSING PART 5 (MEDITATION)

This is the 5th part of my self-cleansing program. As for today, I've done a short meditation (maybe I'll resume it before going to bed since it is usually the best time for me to reach my alpha state) with an aromatherapy and a special power stone chained in a bracelet I bought lately.

Meditation is, indeed, an activity in which we activate our consciousness to be able to 'see' something, or simply relaxing our mind, body, and spirit. It's pretty simple; we just have to feel as relax as possible, control our breath, and close our eyes while sitting down in a proper position. Maybe, as well as I am, aromatherapy or power stone (crystal, quartz, etc, depends on what you're going to do in your meditation) will help you feel more relax and concentrate. In a meditation, you would feel like you're floating or 'out-of-your-body', don't be afraid because fear will block your mind and consciousness. Focus on your goals, your true self, what you are going to do in life. Or you can focus on something you've been wondering about for long, such as your past life, guardians, or just simply clean your chakras and aura. When you still have no idea of what you want to share to the world, or what you're going to be, ask your inner self about it, and let the intuition guides you to the answer. Believe in every 'sign' or 'information' you'll see. Meanwhile, if you already own the dream to become something, tell yourself that you're going to work hard, and you'll become what you want. Picture yourself doing what you want while you speak to yourself about what you'll become. Remember to not overuse your energy while meditating, otherwise you'll get tired afterward. When you overuse your energy, you'll feel a headache or something spinning too strong between your eyes (the ajna chakra). Calm down and chill. The point of doing meditation for self-cleansing is to fulfill your questions and the mysteries of you, so you are no longer lost in confusion. If there's many thing you want to focus on during meditation, focus on them one-by-one. When you already find the answer of one thing, focus on the next one, and so on. If you don't feel anything, maybe you have to practice your intuitions and develop your energy by practicing focusing method.

As for me, I ask my guardians and God to give my family some fortunate (since we're currently facing a financial problem) because my parents have worked so hard and they deserve something better. I also pictured safety for my hometown (since it is now in danger), put all my worries about the future and pictured myself becoming what I want, while promising that I will work hard for it. Well I'm not finish with the meditation yet. There's a lot of thing to think about in meditation. And I was not literally concentrating due to anxiety and guilt because of something. So I haven't done the effective meditation.

Notes from me:
If you're doing meditation to clean your loneliness and the feeling of being abandoned (I felt this way few months ago so I totally understand), perhaps Gayatri mantra will help you. Here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d63COahIpVM
Try to understand the meaning, the hidden message inside this beautiful mantra. Speak it with your heart...

Namaste.~

SELF-CLEANSING PART 4 ("GIVING IS BETTER THAN RECEIVING")

This is the 4th part of my self-cleansing program. Well, actually I've done this part yesterday and few days ago before the idea of creating this program popped inside my head. This time, I'm going to discuss about the power of (unconditional) giving.

Giving with a pure heart symbolize our true unconditional love. Giving is a sign that we care. We always have something to give. We could always give anything that others might need. Take a look at your smile! It is something very simple indeed, yet it is precious for others. It is free, we don't need to cost anything for it. Take a look at those forgitten books! Instead of throwing them away, why don't we donate them to someone else, making them become useful once again. This is also simple and many people have done this, but there is a wonderful and precious effect to the receiver that we might don't know.

Do you remember when you got what you want at your birthday, or christmas? I remember a few months ago, when I dreamt of having an upright piano. And how happy I was when I finally got it and I'm finally able to play it anytime I wanted to. Yet, my parents are happier because they are able to give it for me. And this is what we're going to feel as we give unconditionally.

Let's give, and develop our unconditional love! Namaste!~

SELF-CLEANSING PART 3 (BE GRATEFUL)

It's now the 3th day of my self-cleansing program. What I've done in today's self-cleansing is be grateful to whatever happened or whatever I received, no matter how rough or how simple it is. This is something simple, but there is a big gift behind it.

Every single thing, no matter how rough it is, is not a coincidence, yet if we open our eyes and think positively, it is a gift of life. Take a look at your meals, your clothes, your belongings. You received and own them for reasons. Those things are there for you to fulfill your needs. Take a look at the people of your life. Think about how wonderful they are. They colored your life. They come to you for this purpose, which is the same purpose of why you become a part of their life. Take a look at the horizons, the grass, the flowers. What would life in the earth be without them?

I started my day by thanking God (note: to avoid another misunderstanding, let me explain this first. I'm not religious as I told you before but this doesn't mean that I hate religions, beliefs, and more importantly, God. I love and I believe in God yet I no longer use particular religious tradition) for the brand new day. I opened my room's window and take a look at the view for a while. I stood there for a while and enjoy every single thing I saw. Before I had breakfast, I think about how wonderful my breakfast is (even if it's just a few small home-made Dutch doughnuts) and thank God again for the meal. To think how pity it is if I cannot share such joy from this wonderful meal while everyone deserves joy, I open my backyard door and let my furry friend, Snowy, in. She came in with her grumbling stomach, starring at my breakfast plate. I gave her some bites of the doughnut for snack :3 Then I came to my other dog, Robin, and gave him a hug (he, as always, ate too much yesterday so I didn't gave him anything :P) while giving my turtle his favorite turtle food.

I broadcast message (almost) everyone with this message:


"I am grateful to have you as a part of my wonderful life ({}) blessings!~"

And directly felt the power of unconditional love fulfilling my spirit. Well, there's a lot of thing I did for today's self-cleansing and those were only a few part of it, but the whole point is I just simple felt grateful for what I see, hear, and what I have.

So that broadcast message I typed above is also for YOU! <3 I need you, we need each other. You are a part of my life :) Namaste~

THE SELF-CLEANSING PROGRAM (PART 2: FORGIVING)

I haven't acomplished today's self-cleansing activity since I found some distractions today. I feel like people, some of them used to be my close friends, are ignoring me and mad at me without any explanations. So yeah, I'm pretty much upset and angry right now. And this is the big challenge for today's self cleansing.

Yesterday I asked some people to forgive me for my mistakes. This time, I am the one who has to forgive people for their mistakes.

As we forgive, we take control of our self-ego. We become powerful enough to rule our hearts and minds, and to get rid off those hidden grudge or hate we may keep deep inside our hearts. I myself, admit that I still hate some people even if I did not show it. By letting go our ego, we become big enough to care about others, and the love for ourselves grow bigger and bigger. When we forgive, even when the person did not managed to say sorry, it means that we love ourselves and we do not want to keep those hate and grudge that are bothering us.

forgiving is not always easy, I know. This theory happens to me today. I have to let my ego go. I can't let my ego contol myself and drive me nuts every single day! But yeah, sometimes ego wins. Sometimes we're being too selfish that we would rather keep our ego than letting it go and feel the positive vibes filtering our soul.

I am still facing this challenge yet I know that I can do it and, as well as you guys, I will gain unbelievable energy entering my mind, heart, and soul. Namaste~