I just turned 21 last month, which is the legal age in my country because people of that age are able to be fully responsible and independent. It is said every 21-year olds will face a brand new mental state because it's a major turning point in life, and now I know how it feels like. 3 years ago I sorted a list of universities I could afford to go to, made some friends in matriculation class, and eventually enjoyed some solidarity with my classmates. It all started 3 years ago, but it only feels like it was just yesterday.
Just when I'm able to take a deep breath after all the stress and makeovers for the sake of adapting with the university lifestyle, I'm being rushed into adulthood. Indeed, at this age I can drink whenever I want without being chased by the police and for that very reason it's not strange to hear people congratulating you for being "legal", but that's just a small privilege you get for having so many responsibilities and burdens. I'm one year ahead from graduating, moving out and applying for jobs (or hopefully, master's degree), and I only have less than a year left to learn about these responsibilities and think about my future endeavor.
At this point, I realize that I'm no longer a kid and I must learn how to take full responsibility over my decisions, my actions, and my words. As a child, your parents or any other adult figures in your life will take the responsibility for you, but when you're already in your 20-something, you'll be on your own. And to be honest, I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. It's a whole new level of "getting out of your comfort zone", and it all feels too rushed to me. I have to do another major makeover because I'm no longer a freshman and I'm only a few steps away from getting my degree. I have to get used with being on my own and do things on my own since I'm used with having companies or having someone who have your back.
Another thing I've been stressing over after my birthday is the realisation that I'll be graduating soon and I'd probably be so very far from my friends and family. I took the moments we spend together for granted before I knew I'll be moving away or probably get a tight schedule at work that I won't be seeing them as often as I can now. It hits me quite hard because there is a possibility that we will grow apart and move on with each other's life, and I just moved on from the "growing apart" issue with my old friends. Even now, my boarding house is already empty because the kids had moved out for some reasons. It used to be a packed and cheerful place because we like to hang out in each other's room and spend some time together, but now I'm the only one left who still lives here, along with some new kids who hardly socialize with each other. Some kids had moved out before I could say farewell to them, and that makes me feel sad.
As for my family part, it hits me that I only have a year or so to see my grandma whenever I like. I remember spending my birthday with my grandma at a pricey restaurant (I felt sorry for my grandma because she paid for the whole thing and she's best known to be a frugal person); after apologizing for picking that restaurant she said "Think nothing of it. This might be the last time we could celebrate your birthday together, before you move out." It hits me so hard and I can never forget this.
These thoughts have been revolving in my mind, and God how I wish I could rewind the time and enjoy every second and every moment I had in University. I wish I could tell my friends and family how grateful I am to have them around and how wonderful it is to know them. I wish I could live my pre-adult life to the fullest and rejoice the good and bad moments I have for the past 3 years, because I can never have these 3 years back. All I have left is some new blank pages to write.
Just when I'm able to take a deep breath after all the stress and makeovers for the sake of adapting with the university lifestyle, I'm being rushed into adulthood. Indeed, at this age I can drink whenever I want without being chased by the police and for that very reason it's not strange to hear people congratulating you for being "legal", but that's just a small privilege you get for having so many responsibilities and burdens. I'm one year ahead from graduating, moving out and applying for jobs (or hopefully, master's degree), and I only have less than a year left to learn about these responsibilities and think about my future endeavor.
At this point, I realize that I'm no longer a kid and I must learn how to take full responsibility over my decisions, my actions, and my words. As a child, your parents or any other adult figures in your life will take the responsibility for you, but when you're already in your 20-something, you'll be on your own. And to be honest, I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. It's a whole new level of "getting out of your comfort zone", and it all feels too rushed to me. I have to do another major makeover because I'm no longer a freshman and I'm only a few steps away from getting my degree. I have to get used with being on my own and do things on my own since I'm used with having companies or having someone who have your back.
Another thing I've been stressing over after my birthday is the realisation that I'll be graduating soon and I'd probably be so very far from my friends and family. I took the moments we spend together for granted before I knew I'll be moving away or probably get a tight schedule at work that I won't be seeing them as often as I can now. It hits me quite hard because there is a possibility that we will grow apart and move on with each other's life, and I just moved on from the "growing apart" issue with my old friends. Even now, my boarding house is already empty because the kids had moved out for some reasons. It used to be a packed and cheerful place because we like to hang out in each other's room and spend some time together, but now I'm the only one left who still lives here, along with some new kids who hardly socialize with each other. Some kids had moved out before I could say farewell to them, and that makes me feel sad.
As for my family part, it hits me that I only have a year or so to see my grandma whenever I like. I remember spending my birthday with my grandma at a pricey restaurant (I felt sorry for my grandma because she paid for the whole thing and she's best known to be a frugal person); after apologizing for picking that restaurant she said "Think nothing of it. This might be the last time we could celebrate your birthday together, before you move out." It hits me so hard and I can never forget this.
These thoughts have been revolving in my mind, and God how I wish I could rewind the time and enjoy every second and every moment I had in University. I wish I could tell my friends and family how grateful I am to have them around and how wonderful it is to know them. I wish I could live my pre-adult life to the fullest and rejoice the good and bad moments I have for the past 3 years, because I can never have these 3 years back. All I have left is some new blank pages to write.
