SUNDAY LOUNGE

Happy Sunday! I'd like to apologize if my previous posts were too depressing. Today I feel like the blues are over for now, and hopefully I can stay sane until at least my finals are over. I'm planning to book a session with a psychologist and see if it helps. 

Anyway, to celebrate an international day off, I'd like to post several some lounge music to make your weekend vibrant. But if you're out there working, I believe these songs can keep your spirit high too. That is, if you're into lounge music. 

If you're a big fan of oldies lounge/bossa-nova, I suggest surfing through youtube and look for these channels:

• -Quisquisest 
• -Soft Tempo Lounge (I even interact with the man behind this channel and share songs with him! He's friendly ^^)
• PolidroNobre 
• TheCoffeeShopShop

1. Sunny Escapade by Polish Radio Orchestra 

2. Take Off by Barbara Moore

3. Café by Guido Pisstocchi 

4. The Face that I Love by Chris Karen

5. Summer in Love - I Marc 4

6. Dramma delle Gelosia by Armando Trovajoli 

7. Le cerbiatte by Stelvio Cipriani

8. Uh... too lazy to type the title of the song. But it's relaxing in a sensual way, so it's one of my fave

9. Now or Never by Polish Radio Orchestra


10. Easy Lovers by Piero Piccioni

.

Is it okay to talk about things

that are not okay?

Would the world give me ears

and reveal my hidden tears?

Behind this appearance

lies a rotten heart full of dirt

You can hear it beating

but I know that it's dying

GETTING OUT OF THE HOLE

I wasn't being opened to people because one of the things that I fear most is judgement. I was so afraid that people would think I'm an attention seeker or some sort and think that I'm crazy. But on the other hand, I'm completely aware of my situation and I know that I really should seek for help. It was consuming me, and years ago I almost put an end my own life. Even though I feel much better now, in some days it would visit me and try to bury me with dark thoughts. 

Depression is an illness, it can be fatal and people who suffer with it needs to find a way to cure themselves. Some people seek help from religion or another way of God, some seek professional help, and some from their closest friends. I eventually found a personal way to help myself, but sometimes I feel like I'm being a burden to people around me. And I was afraid that they did not hear my cry for help or worse, they don't really care. Some people I know think that I was just being lazy for laying on the bed and sleep all day (liteally) but the truth is, my heart was heavy. But even to this day, I survive, and I will always do. I don't want to let my loved ones down. 

As a survivor, I want you to please, help a friend or a family member you knew suffering from depression before it's too late.

Below is an artwork I made myself, after suffering from suicidal thoughts. I don't usually have a dark idea and concept on my artwork, so I think this is a valid proof of what I've been through. 

RAPUH

Barangkali, salah satu cara untuk menjadi kuat adalah menyadari bahwa manusia memiliki hak untuk menjadi rapuh. Sadarilah bahwa badai pun dapat meruntuhkan pohon dari tanah tempat ia berpijak, dan ombak dapat mengguncang dan mengikis permukaan batu karang hingga serpihannya menjadi satu dengan pasir. Manusia diciptakan untuk tertawa dan juga menangis. Manusia juga diciptakan untuk bernyanyi dan berteriak. Manusia layak merasa sedih dan layak berduka, juga layak tergoyahkan oleh percobaan dalam hidupnya. Bukankah itu hal-hal yang membuat kita manusia? Pernahkah kamu sadar, bahwa air mata membuatmu bersyukur atas pengalamanmu disakiti dan dicintai? Apakah kebahagiaan tetap sama apabila manusia tidak diciptakan untuk menangis?

Menangislah. Basahi matamu bila kamu merasa dunia tidak peduli atas penderitaan dan sengsara yang tiada akhir. Ketika deritamu keluar bersama dengan tiap tetesan air mata, barulah kamu sadar bahwa dunia tidak berakhir, dan waktu memberikan kesempatan bagimu untuk kembali menjalani hidup dengan harapan baru.