ROBIN; EVERYONE'S FAVORITE MALE DOG

My big families have dogs, and of course I knew all of them. I also have two, a sausage dog named Snowy and a big dog named Robin. He's 2 years old he's the newest in our fams but he's very special. 

He's pretty much a mysterious dog, came from my uncle's neighborhood. A guard brought Robin to my uncle's house, regarding that he owned dogs, and he might be interested to have him. The guard said that his original owner was a child who lives nearby, but he could not take a good care of him so his parents decided to give him away. At that moment my uncle already had 3 dogs, but he kept Robin anyway because he adores him. That time, Robin was only around 6 months old. 

My uncle asked me and my grandma if we would like to keep him as a guard dog, since grandma does need a dog to guard the house at night. Robin is a half-retriever and half-herder, so he's big in size and he barks and runs a lot. But at the time I first saw him he did not barked at me, rather licking my arms and cried when I left. Grandma and I eventually adore him, and we decided to keep him here.

We already have a little sausage dog named Snowy, and we feel bad for her because we aren't in the house all the time and she was there all by herself so we decided to gave her a friend. So ever since Robin came, the house is not a quiet and peaceful place anymore. Every morning and every night, there will always be barks, here and there. Robin himself is a very hyper dog, and we were getting exhausted of controlling him. But after all of the chaos he did, he's still a good dog, and the only one who's so very happy and excited to see me coming home from school, especially when I bring some leftovers from lunch. 

Out of all dogs I've owned in my entire life, I must say that he is the best. He was there with me when I struggled against the culture shocks during the 10th grade, and is still there when I'm enjoying my 11th grade life. Sometimes I'm annoyed by his noisy and chaotic behavior but out of all, he's a happy dog who loves to entertain everyone. 

Months ago I was having a hard time because of things that I have to handle on my own, but I did not say anything to anyone so nobody noticed. Robin, the hyper dog, was not being hyper when he saw me, and that was pretty much unusual. He sat in front of me and stare at me for a long time, seemingly trying to ask if there's anything wrong. I hugged him, and expected him to jump at me since it is his usual reaction each time I hug him. But he did not. He sat still. From that day I concluded that dogs are more emphatic than humans themselves, and this is why dogs are man (and girl)'s best friends. 

Dropping stuffs is one thing that this dog often does so it's not so surprising for us and he usually act as if nothing's happened, but few days ago he dropped my mom's bike and just looked at me with a guilty expression on his face while putting his tail down, trying to say sorry. As I brought him to the corner of the garage to tied him there, he licked my arm and pushed my leg with his nose. That melted my heart but I do regret that did not notice how strange he's been acting ever since. 

As a male dog he eats a lot, perhaps his daily portion is twice than my own. But he is still very skinny although he had his once/6 months vaccine. Lately he's not being hyper like usual. He did not jump on the backyard door to see if there's anyone in the living room. He entered the house calmly. He did not cry when he heard our voices in the living room. Mom and I have already noticed how he changed, but we did not know that this would happen. 

Nothing's sadder than seeing Snowy laying in the backyard all by herself without her giant friend, and hearing about how shocked Grandma was when she knew that Robin had died (she's currently in the US so she hasn't see Robin for more than a month). Before she had Robin and Snowy, Grandma had a favorite sausage dog and a golden retriever, but both died. She must be in trauma now and it would be hard for us to find another dog for both Snowy and Grandma. 

Even when I'm typing this right now, I still can't believe this. Rest in peace, buddy. 

FACES

I had some weird yet realistic dreams lately, and I've been doing a lot of moves in each dream. I even feel like I'm way more active in my dreams rather than reality itself. Well actually, having weird dreams is nothing new to me. Since I was 12, I hardly have normal dreams, not even deep sleep. I have to be honest that sometimes I cannot even compare which is real and which is not, since the dreams begin to come more frequently as I grow up. 

Anyway, what makes my dreams strange is that I met some people that I don't even know in real life and that they seemed so very realistic. They are just random people, each brings different kind of wackiness. I tried to illustrate some of them, and here they are.

I met her when i was 12. She has the typical American kid looks, and always seem to wear a red hood. Her appearance first came when I got this dream of riding a bicycle in the woods with her. Although I don't know her in real life we were like friends in the dream. We laugh and do stuffs together until she accidentally fell into a cliff that's covered by quicksand. She was badly injured and was helpless to get herself out of the sand. I panicked, so I ran as quick as possible to the town. Unfortunately, everyone was so busy so no one noticed me. I came back to the woods to see that she had disappeared. 

Right after that weird dream, she "came" into my dreams several times and sometimes an image of her would just popped inside my mind. Another dream that involved her is when I was in a haunted empty house with her. She pointed her finger to some corners of the house, stating that she saw an old woman and a lady while I saw completely nothing. Finally, at her 3rd times of pointing to a corner, I could finally see what she saw; a ghostly woman looking straight at me. The blonde girl was able to run away, but I couldn't even move that time. I was as still as a statue. 

The last time I saw her is when she came as an adult, again appearing in the wood. But it was not the same wood as the place where she disappeared. She's still pretty much the same, but taller and that time she wore a red tees. There were some snakes in the wood, and she stepped on a red short snake until it died. She brought me to a swamp to see a tame crocodile. 

This had this one two nights ago. I dreamed of being in an airport when I met a boy whom I made friends with. Later, he introduced me to his mother, and they were running from something. They stopped at an old shop, and I saw the mother of the boy talking to a ghostly appearance of a young girl who seemed to be 15 years old. The girl pointed her finger to a shelf as the mother followed her direction. She came into the shelf and opened the hidden door only to find a green shirt and a pair of boots. The mother told me that her daughter was killed by a man, and that they are a Vietnamese family. From my personal thoughts, the shirt and the boots are the clues of the murdered, and from the appearance of the girl herself, she looked like she is not forgiving the man at all. I talked about this dream to a friend, and he told me that I should be helping them getting rid of the grudge that makes them stuck in a cycle of life. They probably came from different time (from the look of it, my guess is they were from the 70s) and asked me for help. 

Her visit is probably the most essential of all. She is a very beautiful Javanese lady with traditional clothes. She was sitting in a garden full of colorful flowers and birds, but at that moment I cannot see the birds, only hearing their various sounds. She asked me if I can guess the color of each bird just by listening to each of their voice. I realized that it was a practice in real life. As soon as I woke up and did my normal activities, I noticed that the society was like the group of birds that sang in the lady's garden. Each of their soul vibrates different characteristics, different emotions, different potentials. It was actually a practice to develop empathy, to develop one's ability to feel her surroundings. 

Right after that dream, an image of her would popped in my mind sometimes, until now. Sometimes I can feel her presence even though I cannot actually see her, literally. I once tried to ask who she was, and she said that I should find out myself. I personally believe she was my mother in one of my past lives, back when I was a princess in an ancient Javanese kingdom. 

There are some more faces I should illustrate but I'll draw them later. Maybe I would make a part 2 of this topic. 

Namaste!

Kezia~

RE: MAKING THE BUS MONITOR CRY

When I watched this video, I felt really sad, embarrassed, terrible, and disgust. I found nothing, absolutely NOTHING positive about this. I can't even stand watching the entire video, and I was impressed by how strong Karen was for not yelling, kicking, or calling names to these kids.

Personally, I know what it feels like to be bullied. I was obese as a kid, and it's not because of some silly reasons. Since then some seniors and even younger boys called me Gorilla, Giant, and stuffs. One of the kids even said "don't ever run on this place, you'll make an earthquake and destroy us all." Yeah of course it's funny, for them. But noooo, not for me, my dear. I didn't find it funny at all. Do they even know why I was obese, and how it feels like to be called gorilla? noooo they didn't know how it feels like to be considered as 'nothing special' to the society. 

So that's my story. When I saw this video, I was once again impressed by how strong Karen was. If I was her I'd probably lose my self-control and I wouldn't survive in such environment. But well, she didn't have to yell at them or so. This video has became the internet sensation and therefore, these kids have to carry their embarrassment for the rest of their lives now. Everyone from around the world could watch the video and have information about the kids' names, adress, telephone numbers, email adress and stuffs. That's really tough, but of course it's their consequences. Sure they're only teenagers but they are NOT toddlers, meaning that they know how to behave. As teenagers they have responsibilities, one of them is to keep a good reputation of their family and themselves. Well... this is a lesson about karma. 

This video reflects the shameful fact of today's teenagers. No wonder elders often called us rebellious, impolite, etc. Some of us don't have any respect at all because we all we think about is "YOLO" and we are still young so that we have some reasons to do all the fun, including the fun of harassing others, even the elders. It's sure is fun to hide our weaknesses and expose someone else's instead. Sure, it's cool and awesome to laugh at someone. 

Why do we have to respect elders? It's because they are the ones who raised us, feed us, educate us, take care of us. What would we be without them? No matter how bad some of them are, we will not be here without them. Bullying them means we are not being grateful to whatever they did to make us develop. 

There's nothing great about bullying people, no matter who they are. Things that seemed simple to us may be offensive to others. I once bullied some younger kids when I was graduating elementary school just because of something frivolous they did, and I am so ashamed of myself for being bitchy. It's not a public case and thankfully I am now friends with my 'victims', but I am still ashamed, and all I can think about is guilt each time I remember my deed. Since this case have been a public sensation, they'll get bigger consequences, and I can't imagine how painful it would be, and it's completely nothing compared to what I feel.

Also, one thing I noticed from this video is that there wasn't a single person who tries to stop these kids from harassing Karen. A lesson I got from here and some other similar cases I've read is that people don't want to get hurt so most of them choose to protect themselves and ignore what's happening to others. They were so afraid of being bullied back, OR they didn't want to get involved because it's troublesome, OR they didn't care at all. I'm sorry for using 'they', it's not that I judge these people but I'm just saying the common fact.

Well, since I'm also a teenager like these kids, I want to apologize to all of you for being embarrassing and rude. I am so sorry for whatever trashy things teenagers do to the society. I feel really, really bad to see this truth.

Thankfully, we still have hope in humanity. Southeast Airlines offers her a free flight and stay at Disneyland with 9 of her friends (and of course this is a dream for everybody :D)! There is a donation to help Karen go on vacation and retire because she deserves to have some unforgettable fun after all the trash she gets. You can help here:  http://www.indiegogo.com/loveforkarenhklein :)

Well this is what I need to say. I hope nothing like this would happen in the future. And I hope all teenagers who knew about this will change, or keep their attitude to keep the good name of our generation.

SOMETIMES I FORGET THAT MY LIFE IS FULL OF BLESSINGS.

Yes, I may have a dark past and it still hurts, but the past is the past. 

There are some days where I share the room with groups of people, but I still feel so alone. I have lots of friends and I'm blessed with the ability to socialize with any kinds of people, but at some point I feel like my world falls apart and people go. The traumas haunted me as I tried many times to get rid of it and failed because of the fear that it will happen to me again.

Back then I had no one to cry to or to lean on, and I wasn't safe anywhere. That was my past. Now I have friends and trustworthy best friends that are always available to help anyway they can, cousins that will always have topics to cover the silence, caring families, supportive foreign friends and teachers. I am not rich, but I have everything I need. I have talents and gifts and sometimes I don't even feel like I deserve them, but God blesses me. Reality says I am lucky and gifted. 

The traumatic events covered everything up, creating a dark atmosphere that blinds my sight. It feels heavy to climb my way up and clean the atmosphere so that I can see the infinite gifts I have... I know whatever happened to me, it is still nothing. I told myself many times, and yet I am still battling against my ego. I won once, and I have to win again for forever. I just have to win. I just have to fight my own fear. 

INTRODUCING MY NEW BLOG; FOR POETRIES AND STORIES ONLY.

I just love to write and let my imaginations drift to words, therefore I made this.

http://zestevien.blogspot.com


Namaste :)

SAKSI BISU

Wahai rembulan

Remukkah hati itu

Ketika engkau menatap cintamu

Yang perlahan hancur dan rusak?

Bagaimana engkau bisa tegar

Menidurkan perang dalam bisu

Sementara kami berseru dengan pedih

Mencari makna sejahtera

Masih maukah dirimu

Membuka mata untuk kami semua

Bila kelak nanti hidup menjadi mati

Dan yang penuh menjadi kosong?

THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING A CRYSTALLINE CHILD

God is building new ways to create a new world. God is the entity of infinity, there is no limit inside of him. The universe came from him. Therefore, if you believe in God and the universe, you believe in infinity and dimensions. 

WHAT I FEEL

I've never talked about what it feels like to be one of those people who are able to see and hear almost everything and breath more than others do spiritually, nor do I care about it. I knew from the beginning that no matter what I do or what I feel, I will always stay this way. I can never escape from what I was born to do.

I do not see the potentials I have as a curse, though. But they do affect the days in my world. Things that are strange for others are nothing new to me. They are a part of my daily life.

My world is pretty much teen-ish regarding to my physical age. I do what other people my age do. I read comics, I listen to grunge and heavy metal and jazz, I fell in love with Batman, I collect everything that is blue, I have pets, I tweet. But my atmosphere is different. While others color their atmosphere with romance and dreams, I filled mine with pictures and messages and memories that only I can understand. This make me feel envy of other teenagers sometimes, or make me feel lonesome. While some people wanted to know what it's like to be able to see the world beyond ours, I wanted to live normally. I wish I could put some attention to fashion or to a guy that I may like, but I never had time on those things. My mind is never empty enough to provide some spaces.

Being a crystalline child is like living in two places at once. Two places that are very different. One is filled with people, the society, and passion. Another is a place of pure power, a place where all of the answers lie within. Some entities from this place are like people but they are not 'people', some are the resonance of nature that carries messages, some are like the mythical creatures that you often see in fairy tales. Unlike the first place, the only language that is used in this strange world that is hidden from the eyes of our people is telepathy. There is no vocabularies and alphabets.

EXPERIENCE

This is actually my destiny. I am a natural-born interdimensionalist. An elder crystalline friend of mine told me that I was supposed to be cursed and abnormal, but I have the ability to protect myself. He said this without even knowing my datas before birth. Yes, the doctors diagnose me with abnormalities beforehand. But then here I am. I have the natural ability to heal since birth, but that does not make my life any easier.

I agree that most crystalline children have rough times dealing with their life. Mine as well. Beside all of the toys I used to play with, all of those sweet and classic 90s cartoons and TV shows, popular songs I enjoyed, my childhood is full of pain. I have to witness a broken relationship between a couple that was staying with my family, and friends of my family. My parents were working and I was staying with them. They were also using me as an anger-reliever. Whenever my aunt went to the internet kiosk to chat with some guys that didn't even look gentle, when she got home she blamed everything to me. I also have to deal with several things that are very traumatic to me, turning me into an angry child. I was bullied at school, I wasn't safe at home.

Everything seemed to grow better when I reached junior high. But I learn that the world is rough, therefore I became what the world had taught me to be. Few teachers like or appreciated me. But that didn't stopped me from making troubles. Funny thing though, in the end I was one of the students with highest academical score.

Junior high life is influential for me. Beside being a "menace" it was also the time when I got my other eye opened. But my abilities were out of control, and some of them were not yet activated. My rough past planted a big chunk of apathy inside of me. I could feel what others feel or saw what they worry about, but I didn't give a damn. For being afraid to feel hurt again, all I care about was fulfilling my own pleasure.

When I entered high school, I was enlighten... in a rough way. It seems like easy ways do not work for those with a heart almost as hard as a rock. I came with arrogance that created a big hole in front of my way. I did not understand people, therefore no one understood me. I was shocked so bad for moving into a city where everything is loud and tough. I was surrounded with dark vibes that affect everything. However, I have to be grateful. From this bad experience, I had my empath back.

I knew that God were lending helps through metaphors that caught my attention during the hard times I had to dealt with. This was the time when I was introduced to the 'place' I mentioned before. I began to see a complex world laying beneath and even uniting with ours. I was shaped through dreams and people that are strange enough to understand me. I can finally express what I've kept for a long time, express the experiences I got and learn their meanings.

I was actually aware of the presence of my guardians since I was about 13 years old, but I began to build a strong relationship with them when I graduate junior high. I learn and develop my healing ability from Aaron, one of my guardian. I learn clairvoyance from Emilet. I also learn through pictures in my dreams that often appear as metaphors; when I wake up I have to think about it the entire day to get to know the hidden meanings.

I told them and I prayed to God that I need a physical help because I'm tired of feeling lonely. I need people that appear in the 3rd dimensional world, people that are 'real' for others as well. It was not long until one of my good friend introduced me to a man at school. Even at our first meeting, I know what he's like. He is pretty much the older and weirder and wiser version of me, in the entity of a man that is.

The point is that God never sleeps. He listens and understands. God took the main role of my strange world.

RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER CRYSTALLINE PEOPLE

The brother/sisterhood among crystalline people is strong enough to cover the illusion of distance and time. I met people of my kind everywhere, that are also aware of the truth, and they also aware of my presence. A baby girl whose age was not older than 2 was staring at me with a deep stare from the shoulder of her mother. She didn't say anything, of course, but when I saw her eyes I can feel her 'message' to me. When I saw her, I wasn't in a stable and positive state. She asked me if there's anything wrong, without even saying anything. She was very young, but she's aware of the 'connection' between mankind, and she was able to use it.

I met a woman at a bus stop. It was a short meeting, but when we met for a while she stared at me with a gentle and loving stare. I saw a strange glowing dot of light on her forehead, and her face seemed familiar somehow. Some times later, I saw a woman in old Javanese dress in my dream. She was the woman I saw at the bus stop! And through that dream we communicate somehow, but I cannot find words to 'translate' our conversations because we did not speak in human language.

I met a friend who told me that I was supposed to born with abnormalities long before I saw him physically. He went to a place near my hometown, and it was a remote area. I was there with him and he saw me, but I wasn't in a physical form. A year later, I noticed a book at the bookstore, and saw a picture of a man who seemed familiar. I managed to found his facebook account and I told him that he seemed familiar. And so we finally got a chance to see each other in person and he told me the truth. From then, whenever I need him my astral body would come to him even under unconsciousness.

Yesterday, when I fell asleep at the car on my way back home from school, I dream of being in the school's corridor. There's no one but me and a guy wearing metallica tees with tan skin and dark hair. He came to me and said "We are a tool." "Everyone's a tool," I replied. "I know that, but our role is very essential. Our presence will change everything." "Well it doesn't mean that we are superior than others." "I didn't say that." He smiled jokingly, and went into a room. I followed him, and saw faces with deep eyes. Their age ranges and they came from different countries. I had a strong feeling that they are one of a kind. About this guy, I have a strong feeling that I will see him in person, one day in the future.

Those are a few of the events that are essential to my world. My purpose of writing this is to relief myself from stacking stories, and to inspire other crystalline children to share their own unique stories so that they won't feel burdened :)

If you believe in God and the Universe, you believe in infinity and dimensions.