ME VS SOCIETY

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This is pretty unnecessary but I found myself laughing while writing about this truth. So I went to the mall this afternoon and in every corner saw a large group of teenagers my age hanging around with such stylish and expensive outfits, then I looked back at myself. Deep inside I wish I was one of them.

I am not into fashion nor stylish, I am not rich, I am not popular, I am not THAT smart academically, and I'm not a type of person who can get along with everybody. I found it hard to fit in in a large group of people, school as such. I began to learn about what's wrong with me yet what I found thus far in objective point of view is that I'm being myself and my 'type' is not dominant in the society. The modern society is so into technologies and fashion, while I don't really care about the types of gadgets I'm using and I don't really care about how I look like. So it's nobody's fault.

It also feels weird that I find it easier to have a chat and hang with people who's older than me but more especially those whose age is around 20s. But when it comes to someone's my age or younger, it'll take time (but sometimes I'm lucky enough to find someone who shares same interest with me, and luckier to find someone who shares the exact conspiracy and opinion).

Why, oh why. To be honest I am very often lonely to be around people my age and unable to fit in. How I'd wish I could be one of them. How I wish I could care more about fashion. How I wish I could have some nice conversations with everyone. But all I have in mind is conspiracy and some thoughts that I cannot translate into words. This is probably why I look silent every single time and silent moment is just... awkward. 

But one thing for sure, I am very confident of being myself so I do not need to change. But the society does not need to change to, society is a reality plane consisting of individuals. Some of these individuals are typical and some are not. And to cheer myself up, I shall assume the non-typical individuals as some rare flowers growing in a large, green field. The green field whispers a beautiful song, and these rare flowers arrange the song into different pieces. 

Namaste!