I STOP BELIEVING.

I don't mean to be such an attention seeker, I write this as apology to those who might feel hurt from my careless and heartless actions in the future. Please remember that I have no intention to hurt anyone nor myself. I've been going through unfortunate events since last year and some of them involve the shitty side of people, mostly from those I trusted and loved. Also, nowadays I'm coping with the urban lives and I get to witness selfishness and bad attitudes. I don't blame them for that nor myself, but I've absorbed too much negativities from those events. I've stopped believing that people can actually possess goodness for others. I see people as selfish pricks and that's also how I see myself right now. I'm not being a good friend to those who still love and care for me. This is one thing about being an empath; you take everything personally even if it shouldn't be that way, but you just can't help it. As a person who lives in the city, I should be prepared to experience the bad side of humanity, but I didn't. I was being too optimistic towards people but in the end it's all turning against me. This is why I'm not a compatible person to live in a huge and crowded urban area, no matter how social and adaptable I am. I can keep up with the pace and I can even start a small conversation with a random person I just met in the bus or anywhere else, but the habits and attitudes city people possess are not for me. I'm too fucking sensitive for bullshits. 

Again, I hope you understand if I'm slowly turning bitter. Believe me, I'm trying to get rid off it, but there are times when I can't see the light at all. I hope I find a way to escape from the city and make peace with myself somewhere else. When I can make peace with the self, I can be of help for others.

PS: I hate seeing my blog turning into "co.id" instead of "com" because I'm not proud of Indonesia at all. Can anyone help me fix this?