THE BEGINNING

I looked down to the beautiful blue earth, starring at the humans. Perhaps, this is my destiny, I thought, as I jumped down from where I belong, reincarnated onto a baby girl of a happy mother in 25 May 1995.

Before I could see the world with my eyes, I was a little helpless womb inside my mother's stomach. And at 8th month, an unexpected tragedy happened. My mother walked to the hospital by herself, and a rapid motorcycle came and hit her on the stomach. There is no apology from the rider but curses. My innocent mother ran back to her home as she began to pray for my safety.

The doctor also had a bad news; I perhaps will born with a syndrome. He predicted that I am a special need. My parents had owned a special need son before me, which is my precious big brother, Daniel. But God had blessed my mother with miracle; I was born normally. And even if I had ADD, at least I was a normal child indeed.

Yet, it was just a beginning. Everyday is a beginning to me. As I entered childhood, I was bullied due to my different-ness. I had a few friends, and none of them understand me. I was all alone in my life. And at 2002, my parents adopted a little brother for me, Nicholas. He was such a lovely being with little bright eyes, but I was pressured with my loneliness, and I am too exhausted of facing humans that cannot understand me. People sees me as a weird idiot girl, and I wasn't free to do anything in my life. I throw all of my anger away to Nicholas, but he is still smiling like a happy angel, seemed to understand. Now that I realize that Nicholas is the only one who understands, I've lost him. Due to a complicated condition, my parents have to returned him to the orphanage, and the year after that, I cannot found him there. He was already adopted by another family, living a new happy life indeed. I cursed myself with guiltiness until today, wishing that Nicholas will never find me and never remembers me as a monster.

As I returned to school life, I met several friends, and they love to gossiping about me behind my back. One of my friend pretend to join the conversation, and after that she would told me what these "friends" are talking about. I was happy with the fact that I finally found a true friend, though, who cares about me. Unfortunately, it was just a part of her fake-ness. She did that because she wants something else from me; she took my lunch, my money, my bag, everything that she likes. I was utilized by a fake friend, so I still am alone. Also, I was always be the one who get to blamed at everything in my home. My aunt stayed at my house for a while, and she often sneak to the public internet, having a personal chat with another guy while she's already married. She took me with her, and as we got home, it was really late. "It was her," she said. "She's begging me to leave the house for a walk. I realize that it's getting late, but she doesn't want to go home." The husband of my aunt, loved to abused me, and as I told this to my aunt, she forced me to keep it as a secret from my parents.

I grew up with anger in my deepest heart. They called me "idiot", they called me "tubby", they bullied me, they utilized me, they blamed me at everything, when will all of these end?

It was year 2005, and I entered a new class, hoping that I won't be bullied again. The base teacher gives me her friendliest smile, welcomed me to her class. I sat with a group of friends, as they told me about many things. I finally felt welcomed, and as days past, I finally have true best friends. They never called me "idiot", "fat useless girl", or else. They just called me "Kezia", my real name. 2005 was perhaps one of the happiest year I have ever have. I am so grateful that I was blessed with such understanding friends who are willing to share their hearts to me.

Then again, I felt slapped. 2005 ended, and 2 of my friends had to move. I was in a new class with the gossip girls again, and they indeed make a new gossip about me each day. Slowly, everything's got worse; one day, one of these girls brought little fruits as she throws it to my hair. "You should have some creambath with this." she shouted. "Your hair is pretty much like a lion, you know."

It really hurts and I just can't take it anymore, so I decided to open up a personal conversation with them. Surprisingly, many of my seniors and another friends support me, they also dislike these gossip girls behavior, so all of us finally open a conference that changed everything ever since.

I learn to forgive, even if I live my life with a horrible past. Thus, my horrible past opened my eyes to understand others which are suffering from the same matter, or the worse one. God gave me all of these problems to help me understand that we need to change these negative energies into positive ones, because negative energies, like what people gave to me at my childhood, affects many lives. Negative energy gave sorrow, sadness, fear, towards humans. And we need to change. Instead of developing negative energies, why won't we offer positive ones instead? This isn't hard to do. All we need is love, seeing everything in a positive way, and develop understanding to each other. By this, sorrow and hatred will no longer exist.

You may be wondering about the first paragraph of my new post; yes, I believe that I was a Pleiadian, and I have several piece of memories about Pleiades. I have a piece of picture in my mind of it. It was a beautiful world where hatred and sorrow don't exist. Some Pleiadians, like me, had to reincarnated into humans, to teach the world about what we've learn at our home world. It is not an easy job, though, like what I've gone trough during my childhood.

I hope that, during my short life, I could develop my love to everything I see or everything I meet. I tried to throw away my grudges and hatred. As I successfully deal with this, I will begin my mission to bring peace and love to the world, or at least, to the people of my life.