ANOTHER GEMINI POST

Hi!

I just found out that all of these awesome people are Geminians like myself.

1. Morgan Freeman

2. Clint Eastwood

3. Marilyn Monroe

4. Judy Garland

5. Soekarno

6. John F. Kennedy

7. Sherina Munaf

8. Johnny Depp

9. Tupac Shakur

10. Paul McCartney

11. Neil Patrick Harris

12. Angelina Jolie 

13. Natalie Portman

Now that I know, I feel awesome as well.

And someday I'll be as awesome as them.

But like what my friend said, today is not that day!

*goes back to sleep*

NGAMPUS

Hai. Hari ini juga gue udah mulai menetap di kost. Yap, sekarang gue sudah resmi menjadi anak kuliahan. 

Sebenernya kuliah belom mulai, gue baru menjalankan program matrikulasi matematika karena gue tidak pintar dalam bidang matematika sementara mapel ini bakal jadi santapan gue sehari-hari. Program ini berlangsung selama 2 minggu lebih, dan karena bokap nyokap banyak kerjaan dan ga bisa nganterin terus setiap hari, dan gue capek bangun pagi2 buta biar ga kena macet di jalan, terpaksa gue harus mencari tempat kost. Kami mengunjungi tiap tempat yang ada di kota ini, sampe akhirnya ketemulah kamar kost yang paling tempat. Lokasinya deket, jalan 20 menit nyampe deh di kampus. Walopun gue kurang suka sama ibu kostnya, yang penting fasilitas lengkap dan lokasinya pas. Lucunya, gue satu tempat kostan sama temen SMA karena kita satu kampus, dan dulu sepanjang masa SMA gue selalu sekelas sama dia. Di sini kamarnya lebih luas karena emang lebih mahalan dikit, tapi bawaannya cuma satu koper isi baju dan beberapa sepatu. Sementara itu, kamar gue lebih kecil, tapi gue bawa 3 kotak barang plus beberapa kantong stok makanan kayak orang imigran *lebay*. Ya pokoknya begitulah. 

Nah, sekarang ngomongin tentang suasana kuliahnya. Gue punya beberapa temen dari SMA yang masuk di kampus yang sama dan sama-sama kena program matrikulasi. Dua di antaranya satu kelas sama gue. Jadi deh pas hari pertama kita nempel di barisan depan sepanjang kelas. Nah, pas hari pertama gue sempet heran karena suasana kelas rame banget, diramaikan oleh beberapa manusia. Gue kira mereka satu sekolah karena rame sendiri, tapi waktu itu gue belom kenalan sama mereka jadi gue ga tau mereka ini sebenernya dari mana aja. Sampe pada hari ke dua, barulah gue mulai berniat untuk kenalan. Ternyata anak-anak di kelas gue ramah banget, welcome kepada siapa pun, murah senyum dan tidak sombong. Dan ternyata, geng anak2 yang bikin kelas jadi rame ini gak satu sekolah! Jadi mereka baru kenal satu sama lain pada saat itu juga. Salut! Gue yang biasanya jaim dan menutup diri sama orang-orang baru pun jadi berusaha untuk lebih membuka diri di masa kuliah ini dan menerima siapa pun sebagai teman. Gotta love my class!

Kelas matematika berlangsung selama 4 jam tiap harinya, termasuk Sabtu. BAYANGKAN!! Dicekokin 2-3 bab tiap harinya, di kasih soal-soal, pantat berasa panas karena kelamaan duduk, dan tentunya ada test di tiap akhir minggu! Untungnya kelas gue kebagian dosen yang baik dan pengertian. Beliau baru pindah dari Jepang tahun lalu, dan karena beliau lama di sana, bahasa Indonesianya dalam ajar-mengajar masih sedikit terbata-bata. 

Oh iya, kayaknya ini bakal menjadi theme songs gue untuk beberapa waktu ke depan:

STRUGGLING.

I finally have something to say here but I was afraid if it sounds too somber. Oh well, my blog anyway. 

The hardest thing about being strong and looking all fine is, everyone thinks you can deal with everything without any problems. Besides, a shell is strong on the outside, but it is hiding the soft and vulnerable part. 

Does it matter if people know what you're going through? I think sometimes it does. After all, we are social beings, aren't we? We were meant to live together in the first place. We can't survive by ourselves. 

Even the wisest and strongest man needs help from the people to share his wisdoms. Without these people, how can he be wise, and why should he be wise? 

My point is, everyone, no matter how  strong they are, needs help.

I myself need help, and I found hope among the people. 

THE USE OF ARTS

One reason why I haven't write anything for the past few weeks in here is because I suck at writing now, as you can see. While I have so many things going on inside of my head and I found no way of expressing it directly and verbally, I seemed to lose my poetic sense and drawing skill too, until I bought a new drawing pen (don't worry I'm not going to lead you to a drawing pen ad) and told myself to sketch or write anything on my sketchbook intuitively. 

Though I am not the best artist, I'm always grateful for my skills. Now I know why God has given me the natural ability to draw and also, strong intuition. 

This might not be a perfect sketch, after all I am still an amateur, but I'm very happy with it. Sorry if it creeps you out :P

I'll get back to writing as soon as I get my skill and will back. I'm thinking about combining my story/poem with personal illustrations, though I already made one for summer holiday project. It was really fun, requires a lot of patience, too. 

Cheers!

WEIGHT LOSS RAGE

As you all know, I'm trying to loose weight.

And I've been fighting for more than a month without any satisfying result. 

It's very frustrating, indeed, and I looked back to see what's wrong. I've been working out with sweat all over my body and I've done it almost everyday. I tried to cut down any fattening foods and carbohydrates, I've followed all weight loss tips I could find on the media. And still no results.

I'm haunted with the thought that I may not be able to change myself, and I will have to live like this for the rest of my life. I know this may sound exaggerating, but I'm so tired of being called 'Ibu' (ma'am) whenever I went to public places due to my body figure that is obviously bigger than average Asian girls' body. When I was still an elementary school student, someone even thought I'm a maid from 'kampung'. I thought to myself, "do I look THAT ugly?" This may sound funny, but honestly, it hurts. 

This thought has been haunting me for the past few years, the thought that I'm ugly and I deserve the disgusted look on people's face. I looked at other girls my age, and feel kinda mad whenever one of them thinks she is fat while the truth is she is NOT, but I obviously am. They have no idea how hard it is to live like this for years. Nobody's attracted to you and most of the time you're being treated as a nobody. And yet we cannot lie to ourselves; most of the time, some of us appreciate beauty more than anything. So it's not their fault, really, the problem is me. 

I was actually a pretty little girl with perfect and healthy body figure until I grew up. Due to emotional problems and stuffs, I got obese since I was 10. Food was the only thing that makes me feel better during those hard times. And I have no idea how it's going to affect me in the future. I wouldn't do that if I know how it's going to end up. No one could help me either because I am not expressive and I always keep things to myself, so yeah I got nothing but food. 

I was very ill when I was 14 due to non-stop period for 3 months straight and I bled too much, I ended up having anemia (and still haven't fully recovered). The doctor said the cause was obesity and I needed to make some weight loss plans. It worked at first, I loose 15 kg and I feel much better and healthier. 

But people won't stop calling me 'Ibu', and I know I'm still fat. I can't wear fashionable clothes that are popular among girls confidently because they don't look good on me. I know 15 kg is not enough, but I don't want to be anorexic either. I was so frustrated I went back to food again, and yes, I gain some weight. 

I realized that the only thing that's blocking my way to a healthier lifestyle is emotion. I may look carefree from the outside, but there are so many things inside of me. I'm angry and frustrated for having this physical body, and I hate myself for that. Whenever I look at the mirror I told my physical self how ugly and trashy I look, and asked myself why can't I look pretty like anyone else. I need to have my confidence back, and the only thing that can make me feel confident is having a perfect figure. 

During my weight loss program, I push myself with these feelings. I never really look at the health benefits I get from my weight loss routine. All I want is to be socially accepted, and I always think that being pretty is the only way. 

Well, I'm sorry if I sound so sober right now and I'm sorry if you feel bad when you read this, but really, I need to be more expressive because it's okay to talk sometimes, and for now I can only be expressive through written words.

Thank you for reading this (if you do). And I hope I can change my perspective and be successful on my weight loss program. I need to love myself again and accept myself for being what I am.

ZESTEVILLE!

Hello! 

So as you all know, I'm having a super duper long holiday after graduation and now I have nothing much to do, so I decided to do something productive like having fun with my imagination and create something new.

And here it is! A diorama of my personal dream town, Zesteville!

I was supposed to put mini toy cars on the road but I'm quite broke right now and I don't want to waste my money on something unnecessary, so I replaced them with my old toys and made a giant toy parade instead :)

And as you can see, colors and fun are in every corner of the town!

Allow me to take you to a tour.

This is the park everyone would enjoy. 2 lovely blue lake (one is deep enough for those who have boats), some large huggable trees, and a giant picnic rock. Why put a large rock, you ask? Well, the mayor used to spend her wonderful childhood on a giant rock, having a simple yet memorable picnic with friends or play hide-and-seek. She wanted the citizen to enjoy those unforgettable moments, too! Oh, and since the mayor loves astronomy, she decided to build an observatory, too. It's open for everyone on weekends. That should be a perfect place for people of all ages!

Ah yes, what's a town without an entertainment centre? An old-fashioned library for bookworms (and it has an old-fashioned cafe inside!) and a mall right beside it. There you'll find all sources of entertainment! Shopping centre, market, restaurant/cafe, bookstore, salon/spa, not to mention cinema! Best of all, the mall itself is a huge rubik's cube! Can you solve this one? ;)

Oh, and if you're craving for some ice cream in this hot sunny day, do visit the ice cream truck!

This is the neighborhood, where you can find all kinds of houses/apartments you like! There's the sandcastle townhouse for those who love tropical atmosphere, tree apartment (suitable for kids next door fans, hehehe), lego apartment (kids would love to live there!) and a gingerbread house! Don't worry, there's no cannibal grandma inside and the house is all safe. Just keep it away from the ants!

A way to make your kids enjoy school? Make it as fun as possible! The school principal decided to turn a huge double decker bus into classrooms! And don't worry, recess is still enjoyable with a playground on top of the bus! Ready for a (educational) ride?

Suffering from a stomachache or fever? Don't worry, this hospital is always ready to help you! Hospitality is everything in here, so don't worry about having to see grumpy doctors/nurses. And if you have to stay, you won't feel lonely, because the hospital itself is actually a large aquarium, so you actually have some lovely little friends around you :)

The sport centre is a home for sport maniacs and those who are trying to loose weight! We understand that everyone is different, so we offer many facilities for everyone to enjoy! Soccer field, swimming pool, the gym, and much more!

That's not all, here are some interesting facts you might want to know about this town:

1. Nobody hates monday in this town! Why? Because monday is a free ice cream day! Prepare a joke/performance for the ice cream guy and if he likes it, he'll hand you a scoop of free ice cream that'll make your day. If you're allergic to lactose,  might as well ask for a free cupcake instead.

2. There's a strange rule in this town; you have to put a smiley on your front door, which is why you see smiling doors everywhere. Why's that? Well, a sincere smile is the finest medicine and it would make everyone happy!

3. You can suggest an idea for the annual Zesteville parade (like the giant toys parade)! But please be as creative as possible. The mayor appreciates creativity! 

So, who wants to stay? :)

PROLOGUE TO COLLEGE

My subconsciousness gave me a nice introduction to college some time ago.

In my dream, I was bicycling around the campus when I saw a guy standing on the intersection of the street. He introduced himself and after a few chats, he asked me where I'm going. I told him I'm on my way to the biggest building in our campus, which was right in front of us. 

"Careful. A lot of us didn't make it through," he said. I began to see a group of smart-looking guys pass by, but there was some kind of an invisible wall blocking their way, so they all fell down to the ground eventually.  

Being a bit stubborn and ambitious like always, I told him I'd rather die trying as he wished me good luck. I paddled my bicycle as fast as I could, but the ground shook so hard as if it was trying to keep me away from that building. I woke up just before I can reach the gate of that building. 

I've finally recognized my true dream, but it's not going to be easy to make it come true. I have a feeling that big things will happen this year, either good or bad, but I'm always ready to face any kind of challenge since it only makes me stronger. 

That moment is finally here! :D